I've noticed more and more as new clients whom I do not have a previous relationship with that hire me to help them have a common thread. The "Your not capable" thread. You're not capable of managing your home. You're not capable of keeping a job. You're not capable to get your marriage back on track. You are not capable of managing your time. You're not capable of being a good mom. You are not capable of being a lone. You're not capable of helping your body.... ... You are not capable of making the changes needed... You're. Not. Capable."
Does that sound familiar, is that a voice in your head? Three times in the last four months I have had clients that are all excited to start working with me, that WANT to dive right in, that make their first payment only to no show on their appointments. Sometimes it's a complete ghosting. Sometimes its because someone else whom they trusted got into their head. Sometimes life suddenly changes and they don't know how to keep to their goals of coaching AND manage the new changes. The voice in their head says "this is too much, I can do this later, I can't handle this. This isn't going to work, too many cooks in the kitchen... You, are going to fail... why bother even trying....." My heart breaks when clients no show, when they back track on their commitment to themselves. The truth of the matter is. THEY ARE CAPABLE. Their mind is lying to them
Feeling "buyers remorse, feeling scared, feeling like its not going to work, feeling like its too much". IS ALL NORMAL. In fact if clients did not feel this, I would be curious as to why. Excitement and fear are one step away from one another. I actually had a mentor say to me once "fear is just excitement on pause". So many women whether they are going through hormone shifts due to fertility, postpartum, peri, menopause, post menopause feel completely overwhelmed. They get over stimulated easily, they feel fatigue and increased body pain. There is confusion on "what is wrong with them." They go to doctors, specialists and they get told that "they are normal, nothing is wrong, its all in their head". They get prescribed anti depressants, anti anxiety, adhd meds. They get put on sleeping pills and yet... that typically only works for a short time and then their symptoms come back with a vengeance.
Then what "typically" happens is they feel guilty, they feel like a failure, they feel like they are just not capable of managing life. Some even feel like they need to be hospitalized, that they are going out of their mind. They eventually message me, with so much guilt that they "quit" before they even got started and are no further ahead, or even further behind in the goals that they wanted to achieve when they first decided to trust me. They feel shame.
I'm here to say, that is all normal too. You see the brain does not like change. As adults being accountable to someone is a scary thing. That means you actually have to do the tasks that will get you success. My question to them is "Do you even want change or are you actually happy because ALL of these things enable you to be "this type of person". I don't say that out of judgment. I say that so that they can actually have permission to not change. That it is truly ok not to want to change. Whether they say yes or no doesn't matter because there are positive and negative consequences to both answers. It is my job to discover what they truly want, and then help them move towards that. As adults, there is no one to give us consequences if we don't show up for ourselves. No one to take away our technology, no one to insist we eat our vegetables, no one to ensure we are drinking our water, taking our supplements, getting movement in our day... If we do not do something... Oh well. No skin off of our nose. Until... a life changing diagnosis forces us to do the work to change. When our life depends on it.
Thats why I love the dried urine hormonal testing. What if I told you that many of the "symptoms" that I listed above can be a hormone imbalance? What if the ADHD, depression, not able to manage time, feelings of overwhelm etc was caused by hormones not being in alignment? What if you could correct those? What if the diagnosis you were given was actually covering up the main problem? Would that be helpful to you? For many this is where fear kicks in, "Then I would know and I would HAVE to do the things to get myself better." No you don't. You don't have to do any of the things... What are the consequences if you don't though? You see sooner or later life WILL hold us adults accountable. Whether its our kids growing up and sharing with us some of the psychological struggles they are over coming because of how we parented them, to our health because of the choices we made when we were younger. Typically when we know better we do better. When we know what consequences are coming down the pipeline its easier to make decisions on if we want those consequences, or if we want to start changing the situation to get different results.
I had client recently, postpartum, and 3 weeks into the program she is already feeling more energy, clearer thinking and we ONLY just started. Its work, and often she expresses that it feels like too much, but she keeps going, she stays on track, yes there are little slip ups, but she corrects those next time. We haven't even gotten her test results yet and she is experiencing successes that I KNOW will have profound effects on her as a whole. Another client I have, is experiencing better sleep, less night sweats, no cramping in her legs at night. This has helped her to not feel so tired in the morning, not so lethargic and has started lifting the brain fog. The person that would double book herself, not keep track of time is now all of a sudden starting to see some successes in her time management. How life changing is that for either of them?
Coaching is high accountability. Yet when you commit to the process and you do not allow fear, or life to throw you off of what you desire, amazing life changing successes can be had. Whether you are brand new to the thought of coaching, or whether you have stopped in your tracks because you feel "your not capable". I encourage you, take that step. Don't let fear, guilt, overwhelm, feelings of failure stop you from who you want to be. Remember, fear is just excitement on pause. You may be scared out of your mind of what "success" might mean for you, but I promise you. Your coach will be right there with you helping you along the way. Helping you move through that fear, overwhelm, guilt or shame. Now is your time. Don't let another moment of "your not capable" dictate how you move forward in your life.
Click the link, and lets get you the best three months yet. Choose either the 90 day Revolution or the 90 Day Intensive. Taking the guess work out of the equation. Testing, not guessing and formulating a plan that is designed around you.