You've done it. You took the leap and you invested in working with a coach. What the hell do you do now? For some, it comes easy to just let go, go with the flow and allow the coach to lead you so that you can learn new ways of thinking and doing things. For others. That is not so easy. This is the hardest thing they will ever do. Who am I talking about? All those type "A" people. All those micro managers that for whatever reason do not trust that others can actually help, or do the job they were hired to do. It's for all the people that want to have change in their life, but can not allow themselves to actually step out of their box or comfort circle and try a different approach.
They often come to the sessions with a "list" of everything they want to work on.... I love this because in the beginning I need to be able to get on their page. Not my page. It gives me an idea of where they are struggling and what is holding them back from making progress. My mind goes into so much creativity of problem solving for them while they tell me their goals, and tell me their stories. However, I am cautious with them. They do not realize it, but quite often it is their lists that are actually sabotaging them from improving the areas they want to improve. [Doing the same thing expecting different results each time is proven not to work] You see the "type A'ers " know themselves extremely well. They know what they need to improve, they are very goal oriented. However, their lists can hold them back because they are not able to look beneath their lists, discover the underlying reason for wanting change. Or they are not dirt honest and raw with themselves of the real reason and without allowing themselves to speak it, to be vulnerable with me, then I never know, it is like chasing a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Without real honesty. Without vulnerability, without the willingness to try something a different way... Not much progress will be made.
This can often leave coaches feeling defeated because internally we KNOW that we are not hitting the needle. We KNOW that so much more can open for our clients if they just trust us... If they just follow through on their action steps each week as we progress. Our programs work because coaches have taken the time to systematically create them, and yes we are fluid, we have plan A,B,C and sometimes D when a curve ball is thrown, but when there is consistently no follow through how do we gain momentum? When clients consistently come to their appointment and move the goal posts with different goals or needs each week with "their beliefs of what needs to be addressed..." Without having done the previous work, this affects our trust. Now, some coaches will say. "No, I have complete faith that my clients are strong and powerful and capable no matter what". I will agree with them. I always believe this of my clients, but I also have to have real expectations, and if they consistently show up without having done the work required, then I know that the program I am moving them through needs to be drastically slowed down. I know that I will have to have armour on for all the "reasons" why tasks didn't get done. Action not taken.
This is where things can clash. A great coach holds their clients accountable. They can listen to all the reasons why something was not able to be complete and then we ask. "What needs to change in order to be successful? What could you have not done so that you could have accomplished your goals this week? What could you have chosen to resource out by asking for help or hiring someone so that you could be successful this week?" These questions hit their heart. They hit the ego for the Type A'er. The Type A'er believes they should be all things and do ALL the things, and if they don't, if they need help, or let something go, then they are not good enough, that they have failed. To be dirt honest with themselves, look past their lists, and look at all the reasons why they do not let things go, ask for help, or resource out... This can often lead them to feel angry, frustrated, hopeless, resentful and quite often they will look at coaching and say "coaching never worked for me... I wasted my money... I didn't get the results I was looking for". Where instead, it is because they wanted change, but were unwilling to move and be uncomfortable and approach things differently. To start changing their beliefs so that their habits could change. Instead they look at their to do lists with a superficial eye and say "None of my goals were reached."
Imagine though, you take that same Type A person and put all their will power towards ensuring their action step/s are complete each week. Imagine that they are powerful enough to see all their emotions and acknowledge that the way they are doing things is not working and use those emotions to promote change in themselves. Imagine they take all their drive to be successful and not fail and put it towards showing up every day throughout the program and making each moment count. Imagine they take all the fear they have about failing and turn it into trusting the coaching process and sticking to the original goal posts no matter what? Can you imagine the power they would feel? Can you see the success they would have? Can you taste how hungry they were for success? When they let go of "having to control everything". When they can learn to trust the process and just take little steps every day no matter. When they can go beyond their "lists". The glass ceiling that is holding them back.... Is shattered. That bridge gets built and they start living in their success with gratitude, happiness, joy and so much love for their life that, they can not imagine doing it any other way. This is why Type A'ers are amazing to work with.
Coaching can and will be uncomfortable. Coaching is about discovering who you want to be, where you want to go, and not worrying about the how, but just doing. If you don't "do" then the how will always hold you back. If you don't "do" it doesn't matter if you can hire a $1000.00 - $30000.00 coach you still will not move towards what you want. Growth, change, never occurs in the comfort zone. Something always needs to happen whether it is a crisis, a life event, a diagnosis, a breaking point in work or the home in order to be motivated enough for change. The question is.... How bad do you want it? Are you willing to get vulnerable? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Are you willing to move towards success no matter what?
If you have answered yes to these questions and you know change needs to happen then please click here https://www.elementsofwellness.org/bookings-checkout/start-getting-your-hope-back?referral=service_list_widget to schedule a complimentary call to start getting your hope back so you can receive a win that will help move you forward. This call is about you, and not a sales call. It is about discovering what you truly want and giving you curated information that will help you to take a step forward for the life you want. It is easy to live in all the reasons not too. What would transpire for you when you start living in the reasons of why you ought to?
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