Summer is here, and if you have been following me whether it be just through email, social media or if you are a current or past client you will know that I am a HUGE, HUGE advocate and do my best to even INSIST that clients be consistent with their routine, with their expectations….. Specially those with young children. The reason why specifically with these clients is because with routine and consistent expectations it enables healthy boundaries between them and their kids. It allows them to be strong in correcting their children, and it gives the children security in routine and knowing the outcome of having certain behaviours. It takes the guessing game away from drained parents and uncertain children.
BUUUUUT. Summer is here, school is out, the weather is nice, the sun is out longer and we innately want to play, be carefree and throw routine out the window. Kids and adults alike. This is normal. This is actually why I teach people to give themselves permission to be “naughty”. To break the rules, to allow play to come into their lives. You see at any given time we are all of our ages in our life. From the two year old who just wants what they want and throws a temper tantrum, to the rebellious teenager who thinks they are being so smart and sneaky. The party, carefree young twenty year old and the motivated, goal oriented driven adult. For me, I typically release a blog every 1st of the month…. BUUUUUT it’s summer, I’ve been playing, I’ve put some work responsibilities to the side so I could indulge in the care free no responsibilities. Does that make me inconsistent? Does that make me flighty? I don’t think so, I see that as being able to achieve both. Play, naughty, break the rules AND responsible, career, goal orientated adult.
We can have both at any given time. We can feed our inner 2 year old, 16 year old, 20 year old and the now. We do this by recognizing just like seasons change, we can change with the seasons. I teach how to implement your calendar so moms can see where their time is going, start prioritizing, implement consistency, correctly do boundaries and have their yes’s in life be a choice and their “no’s” being confident with no guilt. It helps learn how to get clear on values, and priorities quickly and easily with very little guessing. With the nice weather, longer days, time off, it’s important that we allow our calendars to fully support us, not being driven in chaos with the lack of routine which adds to frustration, anger, exhaustion and overwhelmed stressed feelings. It’s also important to recognize the season changes and that our calendar also needs to change.
In the middle of June, I was able to take some time off, go to the lake, recharge and recalibrate for myself. The weather was soooo windy. No days were spent on the lake. The wind at sometimes even put me off balance, but it was hot, it was nice. I was still able to take advantage of what the time gave me. On the drive back, I looked at the weather, and what a change. We were headed into a heat wave. I instantly started thinking I wanted to go back. I looked at my calendar to see what I had on the go, called my girls to see whether they would like to spend this heat wave in the water, and on the beach. I pulled them out of school early [cause lets face it they learn virtually nothing in the last month anyway] and two days later my girls with two of their friends were on the road again to just enjoy some great weather and environment. Marleys dad, even traded vehicles with me so that I didn’t have to be held back because of our sugar gliders. I was able to pack up all the luggage AND the cage for our amazing critters because he has a truck and I only have a cute little car. It took work though. It took me being able to look at the obstacles that would stop me from going such as work, school, pets, vehicle, plants etc. and a determination to solve these problems so I could have what I wanted.
Now, I’m gearing up to go to the lake again and amazing opportunities have presented themselves for work. Being a guest on a podcast. Having a $2000 value ticket gifted to me by James McNeil to his hybrid summit by James himself on the 17-18th. A seminar on the 22nd…. All presented for the week I am supposed to be off….. James said an amazing thing the other night. “Stop looking for the reasons why you can’t, commit to it instead and figure it out later.” This is what I teach. You know you need to do something, you know you need to say yes but “life” seems to get in the way. STOP. It is not an either or. It is a BOTH. How can you have both. How can you achieve all things. You see when we finally commit full heartedly the world, god, universe, that which is greater will begin moving things to align with you. So while I am on my vacation I will also attend these amazing opportunities, and then play hard and enjoy the time where I am not learning. Learn/work hard and then play hard. This is not an either or. This is an “I can have both”.
To all my parents that have been thrown off routine, where you feel there is no time to decompress and your kids are running wild…. Look at your calendar. How does it need to change. Does breakfast turn into a brunch instead? Early dinners because of brunch and then an amazing snack time filled with popcorn, cherries, nectarines, s’mores and all the foods that remind you of summer? Is bed time pushed by an hour and mornings a little later because of it so that they don’t feel like they are missing out on fun, but YOU still get to have down time sitting by the fire pit, having a hot bath, enjoying a quiet glass of wine.
Or maybe you combine the down time with the summer night time snack with the kids, enjoying family time, creating memories in the calmer moments and instilling their memories that they will look back on with nostalgia. If self employed do you change your work hours to accommodate a more relaxed routine at home? Work for an employer…. Is it optional to work a few longer days so you can take an early day at the end of the week or have three day weekends vs only two days? Do you allow the kids to have jammy days, and impromptu activities such as “hey lets go spend the day at the beach…. Let’s go to the slash park…. Let’s cook hot dogs at the fire pit today.” Draw a chalk picture on the back yard fence or deck, washable paint on the sidewalk, sprinklers and beach blankets. Back yard picnics and YES days. Don’t forget you. Date days where a baby sitter is hired for the day and you just enjoy the day off. Whether its with a significant other or just yourself. Pedicures [happy toes are painted toes], facials. Laying under the stars in an empty field….. Maybe if you are feeling you need to break the rules…. Skinny dipping after midnight in the lake:) What can you do that not only feeds your family’s soul but YOUR SOUL. Then put it all in your calendar so that you know what is to come, how to plan and what to say no to and what to say yes to. Take the pressure off of it having to be either or, and choose both, but have consistency so you and your kids know what to expect. More predictability means more calm, better behaviour, less time yelling, less time stressed….. Equaling to more love being shared, and more memories being made.
If you need help organizing your calendar and you are new to it. Click here: https://www.elementsofwellness.org/bookings-checkout/start-getting-your-hope-back?referral=service_list_widget.
I will help you create your best summer yet.